TORN BETWEEN TWO LOVES
I love socializing, getting together with good friends, drawing in the wonderful energy that comes with belly laughs, sharing food and drinks, exchanging ideas about the world, chatting about relationships, discussing the weather, sharing gripes about common ailments, even having a good gossip on occasion.
I love going off completely alone, to a place of complete silence to make up stories, plots, dramatic knots, good and evil characters, changing landscapes, life and death conflicts, writing, writing, and then re-writing over and over again, till every ounce of energy in my brain is depleted, and my being is empty of thought.
My two loves cannot be shared. As time passes, I realize I don´t have an endless supply of energy. And while ideas from one love can nourish the other, its energy can´t be transferred. It´s the opposite. One seems to preclude the other, suck out that energy for its own personal use.
Can it be like having two simultaneous real-life lovers? Don’t know. Some people manage to balance two loves at the same time. Make time for both, love both differently but equally, have one nourish the other.
That doesn´t work for me. My two loves dislike and are jealous of each other. When one takes over the other clamors for the same kind of attention. The cycle repeats itself endlessly.
Anyone willing to share thoughts about this?